BEER: it’s not just for Breakfast anymore.
“I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don’t always agree with them.”
- George Bush.
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
“Sacred cows make the best hamburger.”
- Mark Twain.
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer holder.
“Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.”
- Batman costume warning label.
“Please provide the date of your death.”
- from an IRS letter.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
– A. Whitney Brown
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, “Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?”
– Quentin Crisp
I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I’m certainly not! But I’m sick and tired of being told that I am!
– Monty Python
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
– Mark Twain
“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
relationships.”
– Sharon Stone
“Women complain about pre-menstrual syndrome, but I think of it
as the only time of the month that I can be myself.”
– Roseanne
“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
– Billy Crystal
“My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she’s
reading.”
– Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black
men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”
– Tiger Woods
“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”
– Jack Nicholson
“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he
lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
– Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)
“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s
genitals through his wallet.”
– Robin Williams
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and
only enough blood to run one at a time.”
– Robin Williams
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I
don’t like and just give her a house.”
– Rod Stewart
“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many
men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they
cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?”
– Dustin Hoffman
“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of
other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of
course, men are just grateful.”
– Robert De Niro