mid4.net

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year….

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat wee in the glue On envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that Needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every food can I open For the same reason I no longer have any savings because I gave them to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating In their special e-mail program ….

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split £7 million With me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died Interstate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out For me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water Buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward E-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove Toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a Serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume Sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number For which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore And Uzbekistan.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t even pick up the £1000 I found Dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex Molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 Minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this Afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to Grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a Friend of my next door neighbour’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s Cousin’s’ beautician.

…Always look on the bright side of life . . .
Tee Dum.. Tee Dum TeTumTeTum.. Always look on the light side of life . . .

This entry was posted on Friday, November 2nd, 2007 at 7:00 am and is filed under Jokes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.