Archive for June, 2007

Rents Due Bitch

Saturday, June 16th, 2007

The Landlord

Late Fees in Heaven

Saturday, June 16th, 2007

Be sure to cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless and
so easy to see happening, ‘Customer Service’ being what it is today.

A lady died in January and the ANZ bank billed her for February and March
for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late
fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 - now it
was somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to ANZ:

Family Member:
“I am calling to tell you that Mrs X died in January.”

ANZ:
“I’m sorry, but the account was never closed so late fees and charges still
apply.”

Family Member:
“Maybe you should turn it over to collections.”

ANZ:
“Since it is two months past due, it already has been.”

Family Member:
“So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”

ANZ:
“Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the
credit bureau, maybe both!”

Family Member:
“Do you think God will be mad at her?”

ANZ:
“Excuse me?”

Family Member:
“Did you just get what I was telling you . . the part about her being dead?”

ANZ:
“Sir, you’ll have to speak to my Supervisor.”

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member:
“I’m calling to tell you, Mrs X died in January.”

ANZ:
“As the team member told you, the account was never closed, and the late
fees and charges still apply.”

Family Member:
“You mean you want to collect from her estate?”

ANZ:
(Stammer) “Are you her Lawyer?”

Family Member:
“No, I’m her great nephew.”

(Lawyer info given)

ANZ:
“Could you fax us a certificate of death?”

Family Member: “Sure.” (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

ANZ:
“Our system isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to
help.”

Family Member:
“Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her.
I don’t think she will care.”

ANZ:
“Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.”

Family Member:
“Would you like her new billing address?”

ANZ:
“That might help.”

Family Member:
“Odessa Memorial Cemetery, 1249 Sydney Rd, Plot Number 69.”

ANZ:
“Sir, that’s a cemetery!”

Family Member:
“What do you do with dead people on your planet?”