A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day.
A rabbit asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not?”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Best representation of an internal combustion engine I’ve ever seen…
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water each Day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. Coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we Are consuming 1 kilo of Poo.
However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, Beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a distillation Process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.
WATER = POO
WINE = HEALTH
Free yourself of Poo, drink WINE!!! It is better to drink wine and talk Shit than to drink water and be full of shit. There is no need to thank Me for this valuable information; I am doing it as a public service. Hehe…
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s Gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep.
“I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an Endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my Life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing Her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an Accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up Her leg again.
The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It Said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great Opportunity.
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
A frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can satisfy my needs, prepare and serve my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself:
I DON’T F***ING THINK SO!!!!!
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her Shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel And runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before She says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel,”
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in Front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps Back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?”
“It was Bob the next door neighbour,” she replies.
“Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies kneecaps don’t calcify (get hard) until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.