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A pompous minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Oklahoma. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch my lips.”

The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “I didn’t know we had a choice.”

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed.

It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.

I’m a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire.

Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.

I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.

Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy,

I’ll be waiting….

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society

Q: What would happen if you have a wooden car, with wooden wheels, wooden seats and wooden engine?
A: It wooden start

Son: mommy, how come I’m black and you’re white?
Mom: my son, consdering what I did at those outrageous parties years ago, you be thankful you’re not barking.

Just make sure you have the right change when travelling through Greek toll roads, otherwise you may have to pay with “Other means of payment” !

He: Can i buy you a drink?
She: Actually, I’d rather have the money

He: Haven’t I seen you at some place before?
She: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Where I’ll be for the rest of your life..in your wildest dream.

He: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
She: Sorry, I’m having a headache this weekend.

Man: What would you say if i ask you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing.. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, your right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, your right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!

And, yes, the man is really there!

Book to make an appointment and receive your share of pain soon…

Even sign language has mis-communication issues…

Check out this animation…

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

“I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, But I haven’t got the energy. “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re Packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough Strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly Perched at the top of the tree.

Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you There.

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I’m Donna. How’d you die?

1st woman: I froze to death

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack.. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act but instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer……we’d both still be alive

Nicely organised prank call…

We should be careful how we word what we say sometimes…

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said: “Debra, I’ve never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.”

“Could you jack off?” she says. “I feel like shit.”

Dry Dog Food - $10.79
Canned Dog Food - $19.99/case
Gourmet Dog Treats - $39.99/box
Discovering your dog prefers your imported beer……priceless

How to tell its going to be a cold day…

this looks cold…

bbbrrrrrrr….. nice and chilly…