Guy’s Rules
Guys’ Rules At last a guy has
taken the time to write this all down Finally,
the guys’ side of the story. We always hear “the rules” From the female side.
Now
here are the rules from the male side.
These
are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered “1″ ON
PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re
a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t
hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday
sports. It’s like the full moon or
the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no,
we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1.
Ask for what you want. Let us be
clear on this one: Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do
not work! Obvious
hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every question.
1.
Come to us with a problem only if
you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
are for.
1. A
headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything
we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become
null and void after 7 Days.
1.
If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s
Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1.
If you think you’re fat, you probably
are. Don’t ask us.
1.
If something we said can be interpreted
two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You
can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1.
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have
to say during commercials.
1. Christopher
Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1.
If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,”
We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not
worth the hassle.
1.
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer
to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear. 1.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1.
Don’t ask us what we’ re thinking
about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun
formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1.
Thank you for reading this. Yes,
I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But
did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.